Two months and counting and I’m beginning to burn myself out with studying.

Considering that I’m now a fourth year student and just one year shy away from graduation, I should be a heck more excited and obsessive to get on with my tasks more than ever. Yet all I feel is emptiness and confusion on what should I do towards taking my first step on an independent lifestyle.

I’m thinking of taking up part-time jobs on online writing just so I can earn an extra bread and show my old man that I can earn faster than he could in a thousand years (About my issue with him, I’ll discuss it some time). I’m at loss whether I should continue being serious on seeking my internship or seeking some sort of racket to fuel my ego that I can live and earn for myself.

I’ve tried passing applications and resumes in several emails but so far, nobody bothered to reply on any of those. Heck, even a letter that you didn’t pass is enough.

I feel like I’m heading nowhere. The feeling of not being sure on where you’re going is acutely more painful than being rejected or ignored. I feel like I should do something, but something tells me I should wait, then develop an urge to do something again only to end up being pushed to a heavy landing on my butt.

This sort of suspension, coupled with an inborn inferiority complex and insecurity is probably the worst feeling of all. Not that I’m suicidal or anything but right now, I’m simply on my knees at awe, watching how these feelings can easily pulverize the walls of self esteem and short-term gratification I built around myself. No matter how you tell yourself how strong you are, there will always be that something which will prove you wrong.

Well enough for my mindless writing right now. I should get back on seeking where I should spend the next five months for my OJT. And oh, I should open a new tab if there’s any available writing jobs somewhere…Something tells my mom wouldn’t provide me an allowance for the next two weeks.


So my grand quest on becoming a hero had reached a minor setback…


About sentimentalfreak

Consistently inconsistent. Forever searching and wandering. 'Tis only writing that calms down her restless little soul.

Posted on June 26, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a reply if you must :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Saved by Grace, Living in Faith

Yeah, this is going to be one of those blogs.


Connecting public and private worlds.

Pinay New Yorker

Musings of a Filipina living in the big apple




Because you are part of the village that raises children.


The author is a Filipina who writes wild stories as porn and sacred ones as the Bible. She's been writing random things since she was 5. She is an advertising and marketing practitioner who is pursuing the passion to inspire every person in her life through writing.


I am Ann Luna and this is my blog. :)

TED Blog

The TED Blog shares interesting news about TED, TED Talks video, the TED Prize and more.

Cinderella Stories

The Cinderella who loves reading

Don't English Me, I'm not School

TH Cebuana, Feeling Englisera: The Journey of the Native Stranger (now paying attention)


"A blog of my everyday's life"

Pinoy Penman 3.0

The continuing chronicles of Jose Dalisay Jr., aka Butch Dalisay, a Filipino collector of old fountain pens, disused PowerBooks, '50s Hamiltons, creaky cameras, VW spare parts, poker bad beats, and desktop lint.

Ang Bagong Filipino

Pahayagang Filipino para sa Bagong Filipino

Random Man-Cat

Man-cat meows and stuff he's responsible of // Behance, IG and Twitter: lloydzapanta

The Spin Busters

Reading between the lines, reporting behind the scenes


Online jottings of a Filipino out of time

Finding the SILVER LINING in every step of the Journey...... :)

Life is What You Make It. Live Everyday Like Your Last. - David Ongchoco


Huling araw mo na bukas. Mamamatay ka bang masaya?

%d bloggers like this: