Giving “It” Up

By the end of the article, I think most of you would be asking, “Isn’t this post a bit too late for Valentine’s?”

Well, a thought written down late is better than a thought lost forever, I guess.

Anyways, the reason why I’m about to write about this topic is all thanks to a column on Manila Bulletin “He Says, She Says, He Says: By Chico, Delamar and Gino” titled “Do Things with Mr. Right, and not with Mr. Right Now”

And I bet most of you would be thinking right now, “Ohhh, she’s gonna touch a very sensitive spot” and wonder how would I approach the issue, given my slight cynicism on relationships and innate suspicion on people in general.

First, let’s talk about “It”.

photo source:

In today’s times, more and more people, especially, women found their views about “it” slowly changing day by day. As we get more exposed to media, to our peers, to the world around us, and to the range of liberated choices available, we found ourselves constantly at odds with the virtues we grew up as children. In our typical Catholic conservative culture, the concept of “It” is vaguely explained to us as children, along with myriad terms connected to reproduction. The first time I learned about sex, I was in second year highschool, and I learned it from my friends who cannot speak halfway about it without breaking into naughty giggles or coy knowing smiles.

Overtime, my concept of “It” is centered into two things: (1)  Losing it is painful and a big deal, I guess for us girls, and (2) You should save it for marriage or honeymoon etc.

My friends and I took this into heart, and we are easily scandalized by just the mere rumour of couples kissing behind their lockers or under the big acacia trees surrounding our campus. The school is fairly strict in regulating the students; At exactly 6:oo,officials will scour the whole school for lovestruck students making out in an empty classroom and report them to the principal. Besides, if you’re studying in a science high school, countless homeworks and projects and quizzes would be a top priority and exploring your sexual needs would be the least thing on your mind

Anyways, college is a different world altogether and this is where my attitude about love and sex radically changed. My university’s a melting pot of freedom and news about girls getting pregnant by their boyfriends are common talk. Unlike my college friends, however, I have a neutral attitude about sex, with it having the butt of casual green jokes or playful teasing.  For me, losing ‘it’ is an individual’s own choice, as like the rest of her own choices of having to pick a course in college. It’s something that you must do it on your own, not on your friends’ proddings, your date’s cajoling, or what the mass media dictates you to do. It must be your own choice. Period. For that matter, we can’t judge people for saving ‘it’ for the future as much as we can on judging someone who already lost ‘it’ to someone she thinks she’s in love with. Find some people who can respect your choice for that matter and you are hanging out with the ‘good’ crowd. 

Whether you go give ‘it’ up or save ‘it’, a choice is always good if you made it on your own. Because like the rest of life choices, it will ultimately affect you and only you in the end. 


About sentimentalfreak

Consistently inconsistent. Forever searching and wandering. 'Tis only writing that calms down her restless little soul.

Posted on April 6, 2013, in reflections and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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