The Love Tapes
Love’s gotta be the most ironic thing in the whole world. It’s a wonderful emotion, but also a cruel one.It’s both a blessing or a curse. It’s a jumble of emotions and drama, one you cannot simply ignore even if you want to have a peace of mind. Love strengthens as it weakens. It brings out the best on people, as well as their worst. Love completes, but it also leaves a giant hole in our chest once our hopes are dashed, and our feelings are cast away like a piece of an old clothing.
So in light of the upcoming Celebration of the Glory of Love, here are some brief anecdotes and tidbits from the experiences of the people around me, as well as from things I’ve read that got stuck in my brain somehow. Here are simple stories and viewpoints about love and the rest that comes along with it. I only write down the words or conversations that I’ve remembered as of posting this so forgive me for the somewhat incomplete list. Because we all know that love is much more than this.
Why does it has to be a big deal when you told them you haven’t been sleeping around? I mean, no one’s complaining or gaping over someone whom they’ve just discovered to be a vegan.
– A Tumblr rant of a US-based blogger that I’m following
Never ever mistake affection as something more. That’s your first step on hating that person when the truth slams down on your face.
– A friend after going through a recent bitter experience.
Boy Meets Girl
During the war, a Japanese soldier took a fancy liking to my grandmother. Unlike the others, this soldier is kind and a gentleman and intends to marry her and take her back to Japan after the war, but my grandmother hated the idea of leaving her hometown. She told the soldier that she’s already married to someone, but the soldier asked who her husband is. In a wild random moment, she pointed to a clueless stranger walking by and declared he’s her husband. And that’s how she met my grandfather.
– A college friend shares her grandparents’ love story.
It was a silent understanding one. I slammed down the car door, got out and opened the gate to our house. He didn’t try to stop me. For several minutes, he remained stationary there and I waited for him to follow me so we can still save this by the end of the evening. In the end, he drove off and only did it occur to me that I think he waited for me jump in front of the car and try to stop him.
– A friend muses on what-could-have-beens on that fateful night
My boyfriend happens to like chick flicks more than I do. One time, in the middle of a particularly touching scene, I heard a muffled sobbing. I turned around and there he was, crying.
– A friend recalls her boyfriend’s quirks while we’re watching a rom-com flick
Love won’t always be there. You have to give your partner a reason to love you each day.
– Something I’ve picked out from an old issue of Reader’s Digest Magazine.
I want my first to be my last. Before I jump in a relationship, I have to make sure it’s for forever.
– A friend on her love ideals that struck a particular chord inside me. Deep inside, a small romantic part of me is longing for the First and Last too.
Ambition is the best form of contraception
– An director of a humanitarian organization in a sex education forum
Didn’t you notice? It’s ‘they lived happily ever after’, not a ‘they lived happily together’. Love has many possibilities and you can’t blame two people from not staying together. Love fades, simple as that.
– I’ve read this somewhere, I can’t remember where :(
Love shouldn’t discriminate, you know? It’s the purest, soul-satisfying emotion a human being could ever hope for but mankind tarnishes it with hatred, fear and other diabolical machinations to keep other people who have absolutely nothing to do with their lives from truly being happy.
– An officer of a university-wide LGBT Group I’ve interviewed during my college days
I was assigned in a batch with this guy under our internship program. He’s sweet and funny, the one who kind of listens and hangs unto your every word. He texts you messages until midnight, hugs you suddenly and for no reason at all and goes out all his way to show he’s interested to you. Lately did I know he’s doing it to every girl within one mile radius.
– A friend having her Kairos moment while we’re inside a cramped jeepney
Don’t put your all your happiness on the other person. Treat him/her like an expendable outdated phone. Sure you’ll be affected if they’re suddenly gone in your life, but pain is only temporary and after all the pain and regret, it’s the lesson that’s most important
– Yours truly when cheering a friend up
I was thinking that she had something in her that suddenly draws me in. I couldn’t fight it. She’s my friend, she’s got someone she likes and I couldn’t afford to ruin that friendship because of my feelings. Summer’s about to start so my bestfriend made me a deal ‘If you still kept on thinking about her for two months without seeing each other, I’ll help you confess to her’. Summer came, time eventually passed, and on the first day of class, when she entered through that door, I was expecting the old feelings would resurface. In the end, I felt nothing apart from the joy of seeing an old friend once again.
– A guy friend ‘confessing’ that he had once liked one of our friends
People these days don’t believe in the powerful bond of marriage anymore and they have a good reason to. Even if you are committed of staying together, but if your partner is not, then there’s nothing much you can do to save it.
– One of my mom’s old friends sharing a piece of marital wisdom
PDA or Public Display of Affection
I seriously don’t get why people sigh over young couples making out or cuddling in public and say ‘Ah, To be young and in love’. Really, I would rather see an old couple walking together hand-in-hand all day, for their feelings are not borne out of hormones or dramas or whatever but the need to be together until come what may.
– A friend shares her thoughts after we watched an old couple descend down the steps of a jeepney wherein the husband carefully guides his small wife down. All throughout the ride until they got off, they were holding hands.
Love has a quota. For every five people who are in love, only one person becomes truly happy. Are you in the quota?
– Ricky Lee, one of the greatest scriptwriters I look up to
I should be thankful he rejected me. I learned to accept and love myself more and more. Expect nothing, accept everything.
– A friend after going through a most painful process we can all relate to
I love ‘Frozen’ movie because its act of true love. When you mention true love, people would usually think you found The One but that’s not always the case. You would be surprised to know how much people around you can do for you.
– A cousin whom I watched ‘Frozen’ with for 12 times already
I guess the kind of separation that hurts is where the couple spent so many years together. It’s like, your whole life, you thought you and this person are meant to be. Then boom! Before you know it, you’re left alone to gather all your pieces.
– A friend and I lamenting the separation of a local long-term showbiz couple last year
Physical sex is not as half as good as an emotional one. Shed your clothes and pretensions, get naked together and reveal yourself to each other, emotionally. If a guy sleeps with you before he knows what your biggest fear is, or why you hate automatic flushing toilets because they creep you out, then darling, you’ll be missing a lot of good ‘sex’.
– From a gay boss. Love you, mamsir🙂
True love doesn’t always involve ‘being together’ endings. My uncle met this girl back in college and they became an item. They were so perfect together. It’s like they completed each other. They like the same things, and they like doing the same activities together. But the girl has to work for Japan, and my uncle married someone else. When my uncle married this other girl, his girlfriend returned to the Philippines to congratulate him, and I couldn’t imagine how it must have been painful for her. Maybe, they are the examples of perfect soulmates that are simply not meant to be.
– A friend recounts to me the love story of her uncle and his what-should-have-been.
It feels like I’m dangling off the cliff, then with an extreme effort, I pulled myself up. Got up, walked away from the edge at some distance, turn around, return, slowly lower myself at the edge of the cliff again and stay there while the wind blows around me. Repeat cycle. Over and over again.
– A friend on her relationship woes
In every relationship, there has to be a third party: God. In fact, if there’s one person your partner should love more than you, it ought to be God.
– A friend during our weekly testimony sharing
A true love story is never a public affair. You can only know it if you’re surviving it first-hand. That’s why people chase after it so much, isn’t it? No one can just tell them what it’s like. It’s more than private, it’s ineffable in all its difficulty and beauty.
– A Facebook comment by Samantha Wahl from The Humans of New York page (beautiful isn’t it?) :>
So what about yours? What’s your two cents on love and the mumbo-jumbo that comes along with it?